Some Tea For You

I wrote an entire blog post and didn't realize I needed to save it as a draft. I swear Wix did it automatically the last time. User error I guess.

This got me thinking about a supervisor at a contract gig who would have questioned my ability to do my job if I'd made that mistake which I think perfectly illustrates how dysfunctional that relationship was.

It was, honestly, the worst experience of my career but I don't want to speak negatively about any employer. Bad practice. It was a failure of leadership. That's all. This person had never managed anyone before (and I would suggest they never do it again). And that's all I will say NEGATIVELY about that gig (oh but I have STORIES).

What I will say is holy shit did it obliterate my self-confidence. This person had me so off balance and second-guessing all my instincts that I BECAME incompetent. They had me at Sixes and Sevens (I've been watching too much Downton Abbey okay?). I was constantly defending myself to the point where I couldn't get anything done to their (overly) exacting standards. "Perfection is the enemy of Good" is something I believe in strongly but I guess we differ.

I'm done beating myself up over it, though. I'm a good writer. I'm a competent and fun social media manager. I have a lot of good ideas when it comes to marketing (it's sales funnels all the down, right?). I'm proactive and a hard worker blah blah blah so I refuse to blame myself although I've spent a lot of time racking my brain trying to figure out what I could have done differently.

Nothing.

There is nothing I could have done differently. They came down hard on me from the very first day. It felt like they just didn't like me and had made that decision before giving me a chance but I'll never know what was going on. The point is, I couldn't control how this person reacted to me and how I reacted to them. No one is going to be punished or held accountable for anything. I need to accept it was a bad fit and move on. So I am. I've doubled down on my reeducation in the marketing sphere and used that experience as a motivator to fill the holes in my knowledge and to make sure I never get caught out again.

Bad bosses suck but if I can't learn from the experience, what is the point of moving forward?