Kiala Kazebee

Writer. Er.

BOYZ HALP

Emmy Torre AKA @VAboredwoolf on Twitter asked for help with boys or "boyz" because internet. Here is my "help". I'm sorry.

Boyz are into eye contact. Like SO HARD. If you make the spesh eye contact with them for like 3 seconds (pretend like you both have a secret no one else knows about - which you do and it's about fucking) and then lower your eyes demurely (as a woman should obvslolfeminism) they will get tight in the pants area. If you repeat this a second time with a small smile they'll come talk to you. Science!

Do you want them to come talk to you? I don't know. Some boys have bad breath or poor hygiene but most boyz smell really good and if they're your type then if they do come towards you - both of your pants get tight. Tight pants are good.

After the pants tightening (or the bonerizing) a quick bullet point list should suffice because omg I am LAZY. Points!:

  • Talk, laugh, perhaps kiss. I recommend a good hug with some cheek contact in lieu of the kiss but I'm old fashioned. If you want to just hook up, however, then the cheek hug can lead to a great make out and then you know...let nature take its course. Srs. CHEEK HUG. Sweet move #1.
  • Never underestimate a good leg to leg press/under the table sweet move #2.
  • Do you want to be boyfriend/girfriend or boyfriend/boyfriend or any of the varied options there are? Don't do IT on first contact. I know it's 2015 but this isn't even about outdated morality double standards. It's about feelings not getting hurt. If you like the dude - Anne Boleyn that shit and wait until you're comfortable enough to have - if not great sex -  then at least fun, laughing sweet, hot sex. Pro-tip: Try not to get your head lopped off.

You're welcome!

Love and other indoor sports,

Kiala