Kiala Kazebee

Writer. Er.

On Greg Capullo's Cosby Rape Joke

Greg Capullo, Batman comic book artist (among many, many other things) retweeted this wonderfully whimsical and insightful pic/meme in regards to how a person could possibly knock out undefeated UFC champion Rhonda Rousey.

So funny. I mean rape is ALWAYS funny. That's universal. Amirite.

And here is the response from the man who originally tweeted the HILARIOUS Cosby pic:

I didn't think it could get any funnier and then it did! "COSBY. GONNA. RAPE. HER." BRB holding my sides, laughing too hard. Or crying. Can't tell which.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE.

Capullo spent the past 24 hours defending his (again SUPER RAPEY FUNNY JOKE) on twitter - blocking dissenters faster than Bill Cosby can (insert a jello pudding shot joke about drugging women here). Super cool move, bro.

And now he's "done" talking about it "out of respect" for his fans.  

Super respectful, Greg. THANKS SO MUCH! 

OR, looked at in another, less faux humble way, SUPER COWARDLY. You can't defend your ignorant mistake so you refuse to because... ego? Or are you really so stupid as to believe that meme wasn't a rape joke (as you've stated) and it's just about how to knock out a fighter. A woman fighter. With quaaludes. But we - the people offended and pissed off - are "morons". Pot. Kettle. Fuck you.

In what BATMAN universe do you not fess up and say "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking that joke all the way through. I made a thoughtless mistake. I'm human. And I would never in a million years condone rape or rape jokes in any form. I hope I can make it up to my fans and everyone I've offended in the future. Please feel free to discuss your feelings with me and I'll be happy to listen."

Oh hahahahaahaha. I just made myself laugh because that is never, ever going to happen. Or cry because again, I can't tell the difference right now.

BOYZ HALP

Emmy Torre AKA @VAboredwoolf on Twitter asked for help with boys or "boyz" because internet. Here is my "help". I'm sorry.

Boyz are into eye contact. Like SO HARD. If you make the spesh eye contact with them for like 3 seconds (pretend like you both have a secret no one else knows about - which you do and it's about fucking) and then lower your eyes demurely (as a woman should obvslolfeminism) they will get tight in the pants area. If you repeat this a second time with a small smile they'll come talk to you. Science!

Do you want them to come talk to you? I don't know. Some boys have bad breath or poor hygiene but most boyz smell really good and if they're your type then if they do come towards you - both of your pants get tight. Tight pants are good.

After the pants tightening (or the bonerizing) a quick bullet point list should suffice because omg I am LAZY. Points!:

  • Talk, laugh, perhaps kiss. I recommend a good hug with some cheek contact in lieu of the kiss but I'm old fashioned. If you want to just hook up, however, then the cheek hug can lead to a great make out and then you know...let nature take its course. Srs. CHEEK HUG. Sweet move #1.
  • Never underestimate a good leg to leg press/under the table sweet move #2.
  • Do you want to be boyfriend/girfriend or boyfriend/boyfriend or any of the varied options there are? Don't do IT on first contact. I know it's 2015 but this isn't even about outdated morality double standards. It's about feelings not getting hurt. If you like the dude - Anne Boleyn that shit and wait until you're comfortable enough to have - if not great sex -  then at least fun, laughing sweet, hot sex. Pro-tip: Try not to get your head lopped off.

You're welcome!

Love and other indoor sports,

Kiala